Disappointments

A week or two ago, we got a phone call from someone up in the Nashville area. She had found a beagle, and was curious if it was Jera. She said they had tried to trap the beagle, but it succeeded in getting out again, but she was sure it would be back because she had been leaving food out for it.

My husband took the call and talked with her. He explained to her a little about what Jera looked like, including giving her a link to my Flickr pictures, and the lady promised to call back that evening. My husband also told the lady that she should take the beagle to a vet or shelter where they could scan for a microchip. We always tell people that when they find a lost dog, because we know that our information will show up if someone ever scans Jera.

Long story short, we never heard back from the lady. We called her the next day and left a message, but decided to leave it at that. No news is bad news in this case, we figured.

In the meantime, though, my mind was swirling over the possibilities. I didn't actually let myself believe it was Jera. It's been almost a year now, and I just can't believe that Jera will ever come home to us at this point. If she is still alive, then she has new owners now most likely.

But I did let myself wonder what would happen if it WAS Jera. How would that change our lives? The reasons we had for finding a new home for Zoey are still valid. We're still in an apartment, we're still intending to have kids sometime in the future, and we still want to be on one income which makes it harder to support a dog. However, Jera is our baby - we wouldn't turn her out to the cold. She would be 2 years old this summer, making some of our puppy issues no longer a concern. Some of the financial concerns with Zoey were one-time things (like spaying).

I don't know. In some ways, while I'd love to have Jera back and know what happened to her, I wonder if it's better that she's wherever she is and not here. I almost hope we never have to make that decision. Am I horrible for saying that? I just want what's best for her. Though I also just want my sweet baby back.

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