Someone sent me this link to a Craigslist ad this morning. Since Craigslist ads don't stay around forever, I'll copy-paste the text here. (The serious part of me wants to respond to this seriously, but since I'm not sure if it's a legit ad, then I'll treat it with the humor that the author intended. As a disclaimer: I did remove one line about catfighting because I don't think professional animal fighting of any kind is funny. You can read the original ad here.)
Ferocious Attack Kitten (Atlanta)
Ferocious attack kitten is available for adoption to any home willing to accept him.
This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Well-trained since 10-weeks of age to attack anything in his presence, he will protect your family from evil things, including the following:
* other trained attack kittens
* toilet paper
* anything under a blanket
* unwanted house guests
* bathroom faucets
* paper bags
* floor rugs
* Chuck Norris
Great with children (assuming you don’t like the children). He is housebroken, but only because he wants to be. This attack cat has trained himself to seek out his food anywhere you hide it and rip the bag open to feed himself, great for those who travel extensively. Also trained to drink water out of toilet bowls and dishwater from items in the sink. Knows how to open some doors. He will find you wherever you hide.
Neutered (trust me, you wont want to him to procreate). Has not been declawed, but you'll figure that out really fast.
Understands and responds to a variety of vulgar and profane verbal commands. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it.
Willing to accept trades. Potential adopters must have experience with trained attack-kittens... please be prepared to show scars.
For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house.